artemis fowl: the bonaparte conspiracy

chapter three: GENII UNITE!!(then beat each other up)

Artemis tried to lift his backpack. It didn’t budge. He tried again. Okay, this time it moved a centimeter. Artemis ran his fingers through his hair and started looking through his backpack that he could take out to help him lighten the load. He found nothing. Probably since the only thing in there was an empty binder, a textbook, and a few pencils.

“Artemis! What’s taking so long?” his father called from the front door, ready to see him off to school.

“Coming, Father!” Artemis shouted back, and tried once again to pick up his backpack. He succeeded, but just barely. He hurled his pack over his shoulder and hunched under the ‘weight’ of the backpack (man, if he tried lifting my backpack, he’d probably break his back. I’m telling you, the teachers are trying to get rid of us by making our backpacks unbelievably heavy). Artemis made his way down the stairs, his hands on his backpack straps to help him support. His suit was messed up. All in all, he looked like a nerd. (^_^)

“You look...great, Artemis,” Butler commented, trying to keep his composure.

Artemis looked at Butler. “You honestly think that. Even I think I look like a ‘nerd’ or whatever the slang word is these days.”

“Don’t worry about it son.” Artemis Sr. patted his son on the back and sent him off to school. “Don’t blow up the chemistry lab!” he called after Artemis, and the prodigy left for school. As soon as the door closed, Artemis Sr. and Butler burst out laughing.



Devon waved goodbye to his mom, and set off to school, which was only a few blocks away. Halfway to school, he remembered that his homeroom teacher said something about a new student. Being the smartest in the class, he was sure the new student would need tutoring in math too. Everyone else did. He didn’t know how wrong he would be.

As he arrived at school, he saw a black-haired, blue-eyed kid dragging his backpack through the school yard. Laughing he ran over to help the kid. He’s probably the new student Mr. Gleason was talking about, he thought and held his hand out to Artemis.

Artemis looked at Devon’s outstretched hand and lifted the backpack into his hand.

“Thank you. Most of the students attending this university just walk by snickering at me.” Artemis brushed some dust off his uniform. “Is that how all the students here are?”

Devon smiled. “Unfortunately.”

Artemis did a quick overview of Devon and determined that he must be a lower-class citizen based on his old backpack and stitched-up uniform. Sadly, Devon saw Artemis frown at his appearance.

“What?” he asked.

“Uh, nothing.” Artemis hurriedly took his backpack from Devon and walked away but, as you know, he wasn’t very fast. Devon quickly caught up to him and offered to help him with his math homework.

Artemis laughed. “You? Help ME? You’ve got to be joking. I will probably be helping you.”

"ExCUSE me but I happen to be a straight A student.”

“Well, I have completed college.”

“I have too,” Devon said. He was lying.

“Yeah right. I bet you can’t even afford it.”

“How do YOU know?”

“Ha! Isn’t it obvious? Your father is probably working a minimum wage job in a toothpaste factory.”

That was enough to push Devon over the edge. He threw his backpack to the ground and tackled Artemis. Artemis, being the wimp that he is, could only scream for help and flail his arms at Devon. Devon probably only thought there was a flea breathing on him.

Eventually a teacher came and separated the two boys. Devon only got a few scrapes from the grass, but Artemis had a black eye and several bruises. The teacher assigned the two boys detention after giving them a lecture on decorum.

Artemis knew school was a bad idea.